I have always wanted to go for a walk and draw, but I have been hesitant to start. Climbing the mountain happened to be an opportunity for me, which finally gave me the courage to try sketching.
Observing the mountains from various angles is also observing myself. Being in the challenging mountains and among people who have abandoned social attributes can restore a lot of my vitality. It is a confirmation of my own strength and an expansion of my exploration radius.
In this way, escaping from various standards and discarding various labels, the troubles that used to linger in my mind may dissipate in the mountains and rivers.
01 Phoenix in the Rain, Surrounded by Mist and Clouds, the Spring Water Drips, as if in a Fairyland#
It's the first time I've encountered such fog on the mountain, as if in a fairyland. It suddenly reminded me of a line from Su Shi's "Red Cliff Ode": "Floating and drifting, as if detached from the world, transforming into a celestial being."
Although the climb was a bit challenging for me, I was glad that I saw some beautiful scenery along the way: walking through the misty forest, seeing beautifully shaped leaves, listening to the sound of spring water, and stepping on thick yellow fallen leaves that felt soft and fluffy...
I have always wanted to go for a walk and draw, to draw the places I have been. This mountain climbing experience can be considered as an opportunity for me to try sketching. Although I am still in the stage of drawing from photos, I hope to observe and practice more in the future, and maybe one day I can draw while traveling with a portable sketchbook.
I have been painting landscapes this year, mostly copying ancient paintings, and I am still in the stage of learning basic skills. I rarely create my own works. Today, I experienced the joy of creation - how to abstractly express specific things, how to arrange the main and secondary elements, how to highlight certain areas, omit others, where to make it solid, where to make it vague - it is a wonderful experience.
It seems that many of my previous accumulations have been called upon. For example, although the grass is messy, it also grows in groups of three or five, and some can be broken by reversing the momentum; for example, trees are solid up close and vague in the distance, which can be differentiated by the intensity of ink, the speed of brushstrokes, and the dryness or wetness of the brush; for example, the contrast between the square and round shapes in the stones, some edges are sharp and pointed, while others need to be rounded and smoothly brushed, and not every stone needs to be solid, some can be left with gaps...
The beginning is always difficult. I used to be afraid of sketching, thinking that my foundation was not solid enough and my skills were far from being able to create my own works. Today, I took an important step and found that building a foundation and sketching can be done simultaneously, and they are not contradictory. Drawing from life may even help me better understand the theory.
Of course, learning from the present is not as good as learning from the past, and learning from the past is not as good as learning from nature. While practicing painting skills is crucial, for me, the most important thing is to observe and experience nature, to let go of my senses that are constantly focused on electronic devices, to temporarily escape from concrete and steel, to open up all my senses, and to fully appreciate the wonders of nature.
02 Autumn Sea Mountain, Layers of Colors, as if the Color Palette was Tipped Over#
Layers of colors, as if the color palette was tipped over, indeed, the scenery in different seasons is different, and the joy is endless.
Although my sketching skills are still not proficient, I vaguely recall some knowledge about landscape painting in my mind. For example, using the intensity of ink to distinguish between main and secondary elements, using the speed of brushstrokes to depict distance and solidity, using the size, density, and rhythm of dots to echo the overall momentum...
Just like this passage from "As If There is Light" by Qiujie:
The process of painting is to express the emotions towards nature, the relationship between heaven, earth, and humans through one's own paintings... I want to express this sense of light, I only borrow methods from traditional classics, and ultimately express my own inner self.
03 Changyu City, Endless and Layered#
This time, I am no longer struggling at the end of the team during the mountain climb. I finally have the energy to enjoy the scenery and have lunch slowly. I have grown! I started in the front of the team for a short distance, then took several breaks during the tiring climb, and I managed to stay in the middle of the team most of the time. I also got to know several super cute new companions along the way, including the team leader who likes to say "Wow", the energetic and lively photography leader, and Yangyang, who just hiked in Yunnan for a month (I really want to go on a long hike too)...
Even at noon, I had lunch with the whole team at the mountaintop, sat on the ground to bask in the sun for a while, and I finally succeeded in cooking instant noodles on the mountain (using hot water from a thermos flask).
04 Yinshan Pagoda Forest, Ancient Pagodas with Majestic Mountains as the Background#
Before the temperature dropped, I went to climb Yinshan Pagoda Forest with the companions organized by Xiejiao. I saw the hazy layers of distant mountains, the red, orange, yellow, and green leaves, the ancient pagodas with majestic mountains as the background, the patches of green in the dry branches, and many different-shaped large stones...
05 Why I Like Climbing Mountains, It Expands My Exploration Radius and Confirms My Own Strength#
Perhaps I am more suitable in the mountains and wilderness. Climbing mountains is a way for me to recharge, it restores a lot of my vitality. It's not just because of the dopamine released during exercise, or being closer to nature, or the people I meet along the way. It's more about seeing more possibilities, seeing more of my own potential, confirming my own strength, expanding my territory, and expanding the radius of my exploration capabilities.
Observing the mountains from various angles is also observing myself from different perspectives. Placing myself in a completely unfamiliar environment, in the challenging mountains, among people who have abandoned social attributes, at such moments, what kind of person am I? It's almost like escaping from various standards and discarding various labels, which makes it easy for me to relax. How do I face it?
At such moments, I seem to easily let go of some attachments, because it is difficult to be "self" in such a setting, almost no longer being stared at or self-staring, but allowing "others" to enter at every moment. Whether it is unpredictable road conditions or new people I meet, I am overwhelmed. They challenge the troubles that used to linger in my mind, and perhaps this is an escape, but it actually gives me more courage to face them. It may not solve the problems, but it may make the problems no longer seem like problems, but rather dissipate in the mountains and rivers.
Perhaps it is reminding me to live in the present moment, to let go of grand narratives, and to focus on climbing one mountain after another that I want to climb.
It also makes me realize what my true state of relaxation is like, and how many places in the past have I suppressed my true self, either to conform to the standards and demands of others, or to consider the feelings of others, or to meet the expectations of others. How much of my time, energy, and mood have I sacrificed?
Therefore, follow your heart, do what you truly love, spend time on worthy people and things, prioritize your own feelings and needs, and don't worry too much about other people's opinions and judgments, don't try to fit into the mainstream evaluation system, and don't constantly suppress your true self. Put your own feelings first in everything, ask yourself if you are comfortable, if you are happy.
The path of self-exploration is long and painful, it is a process of constant denial and struggle, but as Ueno Chizuko said in "Yan Onna":
It is said that when Karl Marx was asked what people would be like in the future communist society, he replied, "I am a being shaped by the pollution of class society, and only those who have grown up in that society can know what people in that society will be like." "I" is always a product of the transitional era, always in the middle of the journey. There is no need to deny the past self. It is because of the limitations, mistakes, and "awkwardness" of the past that I am who I am today. Forgive the past self, make peace with that self, and embrace that self in my heart. A long time ago, when I was still young, I wrote: "Maturity is when the water level of accepting others' water lines in one's own body rises." This idea has not changed until now, and it surprises me. However, compared to the past, I have a more tangible feeling of it. The past "me" has become "others"; the future "me" is also "others".
So, I will continue to struggle with my old self, and I will learn to accept myself, whether it is the new me or the old me.